Having no peace of mind is a sign that something deep down inside is distressing you. If not addressed, it can have long term negative effects on your mental and physical health. Most of us still tend to ignore it and accept defeat. Perhaps it’s because, no matter how many books we read and meditation we do, we still have no peace of mind.
We are experiencing the most fast-paced way of life in history. It’s barely possible to keep up with the changes in our environments. We work hard, try out best, and then beat ourselves up about inevitable failures. Yet expectations continue to be far higher than what is possible in reality. It’s no wonder we are restless with overthinking. And stress, tension, confusion, and strife chip away at our intrinsic value, leaving nothing but defeat and resentment.
Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structuresJohn F. Kennedy
Negative thinking habits become deeply embedded when ignored. Changing a deeply embedded habit takes more effort than reading books and meditating. It requires deep personal reflection and honesty. Once we are honest with ourselves, only then can the real work begin.
The reasons for the lack of inner peace
1. Personal problems
Ranging from relationship issues to career dissatisfaction, we all have our inner demons to contend with. But here comes the tough bit. We may not have control over our circumstances, however, sometimes we are the creators of our own discontent. For example, how many times have you heard utterly miserable people say, “I’m staying in the relationship for the kids” or “I’m doing this job because I like having a salary”?
The negative thought patterns are so deeply embedded that they don’t even realize how skewed their logic is. Their decisions are causing more harm than good for everyone, but mostly to themselves.
The answer to the first should have been “I’m staying in this relationship because we both have agreed to go for counseling”, and the second, “I’m doing this job because I’m learning and growing, and the bonus is, I actually like it”.
Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around itBrian Tracy
The first step to overcoming the lack of inner peace is to carefully identify what is creating your distress. Dig deep and ask yourself what is the worst that could happen if you made changes in that area. Would it cause you more strife, or will it make you feel like you can finally exhale and prosper?
Then start to configure your plan.
2. No passion, no drive, no motivation
For many years I had no idea what my passion was. I was convinced that it will magically show up someday, just by sitting around and waiting. Needless to say, I waited for years and only became more demotivated and disheartened. How silly of me to think that something as profound as my very essence would just appear like a puff of smoke?
The only way I was going to discover what this elusive passion was, was to start……..anything! Just start!! After doing some ‘curiosity courses’ and relentless searching online I decided to just upgrade my skills until I could figure this all out.
Surprisingly, as I became more knowledgable and skilled, my motivation and drive increased, I became more confident and wouldn’t you know it…….I found my passion!
Trying to devise a definitive plan will get you nowhere. In fact, it will have the opposite effect. All it takes is to know the beginning and the end, where you are now, and what you want the end of your story to look like.
What happens in between is an ever-changing journey, and requires getting used to being uncomfortable. If change was easy, everyone would be doing it.
Fear is the number 1 killer of prosperity. It paralyzes the mind and inhibits growth. It is human nature to be afraid of uncertainty, but the only way to move on is to experience those growing pains and learn from them.
So many people wish their circumstances could be different, but so few put in the work to make the necessary changes. There is always a way out, although it requires some trial and error.
It’s the trial and error bit that takes audacity. Because you WILL fail at some point, but so what! The worst part about failing is that you learn a new lesson, so by default you’ve already grown!
Overcoming your fear is the hardest part. Once you nail this step, everything else will flow like crystal clear water, quenching your thirst for knowledge, empowerment, and change.
How no peace of mind can affect your mental and physical health
It is no secret that unaddressed, deep-seated troubles cause mental strife. Mental and physical health is often thought of as separate. However mental problems could affect physical health and vise versa.
Studies have shown that depression has been linked to a much higher risk of cancer and heart disease, which leads to shorter life spans. Studies have also shown that people with problems affecting their mental health are not likely to reach out for help.
Just because no one else can do your inner work for you, doesn’t mean you should, or need to do it alone.Lisa Olivera
Bob Proctor from The Secret explains that disease in the body is caused by dis-ease in the mind. The best way to fix both problems simultaneously is to remove the stressor.
If it cannot be removed, seek help to treat the issue. Help doesn’t need to come from professionals. It can be obtained by online forums such as Quora or Reddit, trustworthy friends, family, and peers. Whatever is causing your lack of peace of mind, simply reach out and ask the question. Someone WILL answer.
5 Things to avoid to reach inner peace
1. Engaging with toxic people
Nothing can sway your good intentions like people with bad intentions. The ones who are disconcerted by the success of others. They are always looking for prey. Engaging with people who are seemingly weaker than them in a vain attempt to feel better about themselves and happily swatting away their own misery, making way for yours.
People will provoke you until they bring out your ugly side, then play victim when you go thereUnknown
When reaching out to others, it is imperative to spot the red flags of those who want to keep you exactly where you are and revel in your pain, versus those who are providing value to your journey.
Surround yourself with people who have established healthy emotions and boundaries, and have your best interests at heart. They will affect the way you feel and behave and ultimately be the foundation on which you build your inner peace.
2. Instant gratification
Chasing happiness leads to destructive habits such as comfort eating and getting involved with toxic relations. Temporary indulgences generate temporary satisfaction and in many cases, permanent damage.
You are much better off putting in the work, by creating long term goals that will catapult you out of your unsatisfactory circumstances. It may take a bit longer, but the outcome is more likely to be positive and long term.
3. Choosing to stay in your uncomfortable comfort zone
You may have been dissatisfied for so long that you’ve become comfortable with it. You accept discomfort as your fate. It is familiar and creates the false impression of being safe.
Stepping into unknown territory can be terrifying. But just like you became familiar with discomfort, you can just as easily become comfortable with satisfaction.
Understandably it will take some time to get used to. Allowing yourself to venture into unknown territory takes guts. That’s why so few people do it and choose to remain uninspired and weary.
Don’t fall into the trap. Breathe deep and allow yourself the privilege of happiness.
4. Victim mentality
So things have gone a bit awry, so you’ve messed up, sure you’re in a pickle. Whatever you do doesn’t work and you’re over it. So now what? Curl up in a ball and wait for the next storm to hit?
The world is not out to get you, in fact the world is full of resources that can help you. When you realize that the struggle is real for you and pretty much everyone else, you’ll stop pointing the finger to everyone but yourself.
No matter how much tragedy you face, no matter how often you fail, no matter how confused and defeated you are, recognize that there are still some things you can control. Such as the decisions you make.
Do not waste your time throwing yourself parties. Instead, work with what you have, take responsibility and the rest will follow.
5. Regret and resentment
The fastest way to become bitter is to compare yourself to others, or comparing where you could have been to where you are now. Looking at others’ happiness and success adds no value to your life.
The past is the past, leave it there, you cannot change it.
And if you’re looking at happy social media pictures, you’re doing yourself a massive disservice. In most cases, those are not real. Sometimes people try to prove something to others that does not exist in real life.
You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Your work, and positive changes are within. What’s happening within can only be shown through your actions and behavior.
Stick to the here and now, and place full attention on yourself. This is your time.
Listen to this seminar that describes how to match your emotions with your intentions to bring inner peace.